Why I Am Here??

Lately, quite on a regular basis  I catch myself contemplating on my life path. I don’t know, perhaps I might be depressed or something or i have pms or i am too bored. The big question is always the same in spite of my age.  Why am I here? I really don’t want to think that all of I might be capable is sitting in the office from 9 to 5 all my life. Besides this money driven world is  gradually killing me. I don’t think I am made for capitalism. I know, actually.

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will live as one

I want to make a difference somehow. And I don’t mean some huge grandiose things, little things. In fact I know how could I become helpful, but the reality is that for now I don’t have courage to do it. When I think about what would fulfill my soul I imagine myself voluntering somewhere in the third world. In wildest dreams I would leave everything and everyone behind, pack the bags and leave. To Africa, South America, no matter where. Somewhere where I would be helpful.

Yet on the other hand, I admit, for now ( i think is only matter of time, since the same thoughts are persistent for several years) my mind is tight up by mentality of general western society. When I talked to my friend about this he asked me : Are you insane? And what will you do when you get older, You won’t have any backup in financial security…. He’s got the point.  And on this level as I am a bit cowardish I agree with him. Still, have never risked anything in my life, should I sit at home all life and one day regret it, asking my self “what if?”

 

 

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